whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
