he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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