I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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