so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
