You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
