Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
ugly people sure do ruin things
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I didn't notice because vodka
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
