Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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