I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
