hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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