im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
