it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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