Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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