i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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