Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I looked at my own cervix.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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