I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
