sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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