Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize