I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I believe in your delicious
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize