whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize