why didn't you poke me back
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
