i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
