You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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