My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
