kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
