who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
