No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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