I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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