just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
