I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
