If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
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