This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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