Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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