I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
