So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
