I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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