every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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