I'm sorry my penis didn't work
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
