I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize