my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
