just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
