If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
