the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
