We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
