I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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