...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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