That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize