if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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