I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
