So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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