i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
