you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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