I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
