u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
