no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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