I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize