you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just pee around me
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
