Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
not ubering you a puppy
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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