no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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