I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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