You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
