I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
