I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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